Winning People -

Learning to Effectively Relate with Others

An old man sent his two sons to a faraway country to determine if it were feasible to sell their shoes and other foot products to the people of the land.  Upon arriving, the oldest son, seeing that none of the people wore any shoes was skeptical as he talked with some of the people.  He explained to them how wearing shoes and other shoe products were common among advanced people.  He challenged them to step out of their customary ways and into a world that in many ways was passing them by.  The people hosted him with graciousness but they were discouraged at his views.  He returned home after two weeks to tell his father there were no opportunities there – none of the people wore shoes and they did not see the value of changing.

The younger son arrived at the same time as his brother.  Seeing also none of the people wore any shoes he talked with some of the people and marveled at their friendliness and the craftiness and professionalism by which they lived.  He admired the incredible way they evolved to fulfill their dream of living as naturally as possible.  He was challenged and wondered if his shoes would help or hinder their futures.  The people were drawn to the young man and how he respected them and valued their ways.  The leader of the country decided that the country would consider a change, allowing the young man to present a proposal for building the first factory in the country.  The young man returned home after two months to tell his father there was great opportunity there – none of the people had yet to wear any shoes.

You don’t have to travel far to find that people are different in many ways.  They may look different, dress differently, talk differently or even live differently.  But it doesn’t matter who you are or where you live, there is one thing that is common to all people.  People everywhere have the universal need to feel valued, trusted and having worth that can be recognized by others.  Maya Angelou is quoted having said “people will forget what you say, they will forget what you do, but they will never forget how you make them feel”.  The key to establishing strong lasting relationships with others i sin your interpersonal ability to make others feel good about themselves and about others.

People will not permit themselves to be influenced by anyone who does not have remarkable people skills.  Of the statements:  I get along with others or others get along with me, which is more like you?  Consider your response carefully.  Consider the principles by which uncommon people demonstrate their interpersonal skills:

  • Spend time with others; you will learn what is essential to them;
  • Empathize with others; they will believe you care;
  • Have a vision and message of where you want to go with them; they will see where you are coming from;
  • Invest in others; they will give returns to you;
  • Listen to others; they will speak freely with you and;
  • Never make others feel as if their failures are simply the opportunity for you to demonstrate your greatness.

Without great interpersonal skill you don’t have connection; without connection you don’t have influence and; without influence you don’t win people. 

It doesn’t matter if you are dealing with family, friends, coworkers, vendors or even your customers, people are drawn to or withdraw from people.  It is universally true that when you make people feel good about their relationship with you that relationship is more positive and productive.  If you get along they will come along.  Learn how to win the people you now want to influence.